It Takes a Team: Home, School, and After-School on the Same Page

Week three of school is when the back-to-school honeymoon ends. Why the wobble is normal, what's behind it, and what to do instead of stepping in to fix it.

NYC school starts September 10 this year. Here's how to use the extra ten days: shift sleep gradually, rehearse the route, hand over tasks, and protect movement.

There’s a growing tension many parents feel today. On one hand, we know kids belong outside—running, exploring, getting dirty, building confidence in the real world. On the other hand, summers are getting hotter. Headlines warn about heat waves. Playgrounds feel unbearable by midday. So the question becomes: Is it still safe—or even responsible—to prioritize outdoor play? The answer isn’t to pull kids inside. It’s to rethink how we do outdoor time—intentionally, intelligently, and safely. The Philosophy: Kids Need Friction In my work—and in my book—I come back to a simple idea: Growth requires friction. Not danger. Not neglect. But real, physical, sensory experiences that challenge the body and engage the mind. Heat is part of that. So is learning: When your body needs water How to slow down and rest How to listen to discomfort instead of ignoring it When kids are always shielded from environmental stress, they don’t become safer—they become less prepared. The goal isn’t to eliminate hard conditions. It’s to teach kids how to move through them and be successful. The Problem Isn’t the Heat—It’s the Approach Yes, it’s hotter than it used to be. That’s real. But the answer isn’t to cancel outdoor play all summer. The answer is to stop treating outdoor time as passive and start treating it as designed . Because when outdoor environments are intentional, kids can safely spend meaningful time outside—even in high temperatures. And when they do, the benefits are still unmatched: Stronger, more regulated bodies Better sleep Increased independence A deeper connection to the natural world What This Looks Like in Practice at Gantry Kids At Gantry Kids, we don’t choose between outdoor play and safety . We design for both. We Respect the Heat We don’t fight the environment—we work with it. Outdoor time is scheduled intentionally: Early mornings Late afternoons Shaded windows of the day Water play each day We avoid peak heat not out of fear, but out of awareness. We Use Movement to Create Relief—Not Just Endure It One of the most overlooked truths about heat is this: Still air feels hotter than moving air. That’s where biking & scooting becomes more than just an activity—it becomes a tool. When kids are on bikes and scooters: They create their own breeze They feel cooler, even on warm days They stay engaged without feeling stagnant or overheated Biking & scooting give kids a sense of flow —physically and mentally. It turns a heavy, hot moment into something lighter. More manageable. Even joyful. And just as important, it reinforces independence: They control their pace They learn when to push and when to coast They build awareness of their own energy and limits In many ways, biking isn’t just a relief from the heat—it’s a lesson in self-regulation in motion . We Build in Constant Cooling Summer at Gantry isn’t just about being outside—it’s about interacting with the elements , especially water. We incorporate water play daily: Sprinklers and splash zones Water-based games that keep kids moving and cool Hands-on, sensory experiences that turn heat into something enjoyable Water isn’t a break from play—it is the play. And paired with activities like biking, it creates a natural rhythm: move, cool down, move again. We Teach Hydration as a Skill We don’t just remind kids to drink water. We help them understand their bodies : What thirst feels like When to pause How to take care of themselves proactively If nothing is going in, nothing is coming out These are small lessons—but they build lifelong awareness. We Stay Observant and Responsive Our team is trained to read the room—and the kids. We’re constantly adjusting: Activity intensity Duration Transitions between sun and shade Safety isn’t a fixed rulebook. It’s an active process. We Design the Day Around Energy, Not Just Time Not every moment needs to be high-output. We intentionally balance: Movement and rest High-energy play (like biking) and slower exploration Sun exposure and shaded recovery This keeps kids engaged without pushing them past their limits. What Kids Learn From This When kids spend time outside in a thoughtfully designed environment—even in the heat—they learn something powerful: “I can handle this.” They build: Physical resilience Environmental awareness Confidence in their own bodies And they stop seeing the outdoors as something to avoid. They start seeing it as something they belong in. The Bigger Picture We can’t control the fact that summers are getting hotter. But we can control how we respond. We can raise kids who: Only feel safe in perfect conditions Or kids who: Know how to adapt Trust themselves Engage with the world as it is Final Thought Childhood doesn’t need to be climate-controlled to be safe. It needs to be intentional . Because the goal isn’t just to protect kids from the elements, it’s to raise kids who know how to live in them. And sometimes, that looks like riding a bike with the wind in their face, then running through a sprinkler—laughing, soaked, and completely alive.

Updates... Even in the short year and half since I wrote my book, there has been a deluge of information, studies and movements to limit cell phones for kids. This ranges from state wide bans on cellphone usage in schools, pledges to "Wait Until 8th" from parents and communities, and an initiative to bring back flip phones and even landlines. I'm just going to say that the landline thing was my idea. I wrote about it on page 108 of How Not to Ruin Your Kids . Granted I was coming from a kid's agency and autonomy of setting up their own playdates, learning to speak to adults, and getting over the small hurdles of anxiety of just talking to someone. The movement pinpoints independence and social interaction, but it also addresses alleviating the pressure of getting a child a cell-phone. Circling back, experts like Jonathan Haidt (author of "Coddling of the American Mind" & "The Anxious Generation"), and even tech parents with roots in Apple, MicroSoft, Meta, Google and the like have limited their own children's screen time and cellphone ownership as well as taken to the streets to inform all of us of the dangers. Well more so Jonathan than the rest, they have a vested interest of course. The problem really isn't just phones, it's screens in general. If you didn't know, kids are spending almost the whole school day on some sort of technology. Yes, it's modern and how we do things now, but back in the stone ages when I was a kid, typewriters with all the rage, yet we only had typing class for an hour. The rest of school was paper and pencil. By far the best way to retain information is by being a participant. Using screens doesn't allow that for sure, but that's an entirely different blog post.

I know you can do it! That's what our kids hear when we encourage them to do hard things. On the flip side, when we do for them all the time, they can hear, "You can't do it" or "We don't trust you". It cuts their confidence and instills in them that we don't believe in them. I know it might seem far-fetched, and on days when the whining about needed help bores into our brains, it's challenging for us as parents and caretakers to toe the line. So much of parenting, and life in general, is consistency. It's not that we can plan or know what to do all the time in every situation; it's that we are consistent in our actions with our children. This creates stability, expectations, and can even make our lives easier. The stronger a child's will, the more challenging transitioning from pacifying a problem to being consistent can be, but stay the course. Life is a series of opportunities to practice what we are committed to. This is the long game. With continued practice, everyone gets the chance to create new helpful habits, adults and kids.

Risky Play - Parent & Caregiver Buy In I know, Risky Play sounds SCARY! It may raise some eyebrows, but it's essential for a child's growth and development. Risky Play is generally play that is outside the achieved skill set of a child attempting to be performed in a fun and happy context. Helen Dodd and Kathryn Lester published the article, “Adventurous Play as a Mechanism for Reducing Risk for Childhood Anxiety: A Conceptual Model” in 2021. The paper states, “when children play in an adventurous way, climbing trees, riding their bikes fast downhill and jumping from rocks, they experience feelings of fear and excitement, thrill and adrenaline.” One of the difference between risky play and plane hazards in life is that risky play is done in a context of happiness and desire. This pushes each child to get used to feeling uncomfortable and manage their emotions around it. The authors noted that half of all anxiety disorders start before age 11, "so the earlier kids deal with "ambiguity" - the discomfort of not knowing how something will turn out, which they went on to say that which is at the heart of risk – the more chance of nipping anxiety in the bud." (from Let Grow: letgrow.org/risky-play-anxiety/) I was recently a guest on a panel discussing Adventure Playgrounds at the Association of Science & Technology Centers 2024 Conference. Did you know that tons of museums are building adventure playgrounds? Adventure Playgrounds range from "natural playgrounds" to "junk playgrounds". Governors Island is home to play:ground NYC, The Yard. The theme that runs through each is unrestricted play, and the absence of adult made play structures. Often adventure playgrounds are "no adults allowed" other than playworkers, trained to oversee the area. Adventure Playgrounds can have anything from hammers and nails to build with, trees to climb, treehouses to imagine from, ropes to swing on, and access to water. Many utilize found objects to spark creativity and imagination. Adventure playgrounds are facilitators of Risky Play! My portion of the presentation and panel addressed "Educating Grown-ups: Guiding Parents and Caretakers into Risky Play". I felt it was an important topic because allowing risky play the few times you visit an adventure playground isn't enough integration in a child's life. The goal is to support parents and caregivers to introduce, encourage and provide opportunities for risky play. My job as the founder of Gantry Kids is to provide such an environment AND to guide parents through what may be a scary time for them as they incorporate risky play at home. The Benefits The benefits of risky play are countless. In the forefront is learning to be in uncomfortable situations and get to the other side of them. It teaches follow through, coping with stressors, and understanding personal limitations. It also can improve motor skills and cognitive understanding, as well as improve social interaction skills. Kids that are risk adverse don't learn how to manage everyday situations or worse, it causes children to seek out hazardous actions and environments as a form of thrill seeking. Mental Health professionals are in agreement that the lack of risky play can lead to a lack of resilience and the onset of mental health issues like anxiety at a very young age. This almost always requires professional intervention. The Fears As adults we have our own set of fears around allowing children to participate in certain activities. One of the biggest fears around risky play is injury to the child and ability concerns - can the child even do it? Other fears that drive hesitation for adults is our own anxiety and worry. We take it on as if we are experiencing the action and just can't manage our own anxiety as we enter the rabbit hole of worry. By the way no one is more afraid on a skateboard than a newbie adult. Kids, meh, not so much. Lastly, adults, organizations, and municipalities are fearful of litigation. What if a child gets hurt and we get sued? I love fear. It's just our bodies way of telling us we are alive. Fears have a tendency to take over the area of our brains where rational thinking occurs. So stay vigilant and don't allow it. Literally say to yourself, Okay fear, I see and here you. Thanks for the feedback, but I'm going to do it anyway. If we actually looked at the statistical likelihood of something happening versus only considering our concerns we'd be doing way more stuff. Chapter 4: Where We Are as a Society of my book How Not to Ruin Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Raising Happy, Independent, Equipped Children addresses how fear impacts our parenting and in turn our children's agency, self-esteem and autonomy. It also breaks down statistics of one of our deepest fears: kidnapping. I point to the fact that "children abducted by strangers represent .01% of all missing children." Yet, we don't let our kids walk to school, run errands, or play at the playground without an adult for fear of them being taken. Point zero one percent. So you see, fears aren't always rational, supported by evidence or true yet we filter most of our decision making when it comes to our children through those emotions. The REALITY What's your reality? How often are your kids engaging in risky play or enjoying an adventure playground? The reality for most is that kids engage in risky play as a single experience . Whether it's a pop-up event, or an exhibit at a museum or a weekly visit to the cool playground. It's not often enough. Risky play includes everything from climbing, balancing, hanging, jumping, swinging, sliding, running, biking, skating, cutting, poking, whipping, sawing, tying, wrestling, play fighting, rough and tumble play, exploring unknown environments, introducing dangerous elements like elevation change, water, and fire. (Sandsetter, Ellen Beate Hansen and Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair (2011): "Children's Risky Play from an Evolutionary Perspective: The Anti-Phobic Effects of Thrilling Experiences". Evolutionary Psychology. 9:2, 257-284). Is your child engaging in risky play at home? How often do they climb a tree, balance on a curb, saw a piece of wood, play fight, take a short cut through the woods, or build a fire? All of this is risky play. Is risky play available to kids? Do we let them help make dinner and use a knife, are we painting pumpkins or carving them? At our Halloween Kids Night Out! we always have the kids carve pumpkins. Now, they are taught and guided by an adult, but they get to actually do it! Are they swinging on ropes like we do at the gym, or jumping from tall heights, even the couch counts. Biking is even risky play. Remember risky play is adventurous and brings some excitement and thrill to children in a happy environment. They are the barometer, not you. Is their school and after school program a proponent of risky play? Obviously Gantry Kids is! We work really hard to create an organic environment where kids have access to risky play and agency over themselves. We support their growth and encourage their development with each box jump, rope swing, and mile on the bike! Are parents and caregivers being supported? Are you as a parent or caregiver feeling supported in your quest to provide opportunities for risky play? It's hard we know. Hard to trust that your child can do the task, trust that they will stay safe and trust that you are making the right choices. Honestly, that's why a lot of parents send their kids to Gantry Kids. We handle the risky play and the mild heart palpitations. When you feel those, thank your fear for being present and act anyway. What's next? As a way to support parents, besides sending kids to the gym, I created this very basic, but informative info graphic. It breaks down risky play you can incorporate at home and then build on! By incrementally adding risk play to your child's life, you'll see the benefits, but also they are learning a new skill set, which will boost their confidence and independence! Remember, start small. Do things together, your eyes on, your hand off. Then start adding more and more. Don't wait until you are comfortable, acknowledge your fear and act anyway. You can do this!

Why Free & Risky Play in After School Programs are Crucial for Child Development Parents often prioritize structured activities like homework time or organized sports when considering afterschool care. However, one of the most valuable and sometimes overlooked aspects of a child's development in these programs is free play—and even risky play. These activities provide essential opportunities for children to challenge themselves, develop new skills, and gain confidence, all while having fun. Let's dive into why free and risky play are beneficial, especially in an afterschool setting, and how programs like the ones we run at Gantry Kids & Teens in Long Island City, NY, are embracing these concepts. What Is Free Play and Risky Play? Free play is an unstructured, child-led activity. It’s play that allows children to explore their environment, use their imagination, and engage in physical and creative activities without an adult directing their every move. Whether it's a game of tag, climbing on a jungle gym, or inventing an entirely new game, free play allows kids to learn at their own pace, make decisions, and solve problems. Risky play is a type of free play that involves an element of risk, whether it’s climbing higher than they’ve ever climbed before or trying to balance on a narrow beam. While the word "risky" can sound intimidating, it doesn’t mean putting children in dangerous situations. Instead, it encourages them to test their limits in a somewhat controlled environment, helping them develop resilience, confidence, and problem-solving skills. The Importance of Physical Fitness and Exercise One of the biggest benefits of free and risky play in afterschool care is the opportunity for kids to engage in physical activity. While many afterschool programs focus on academic enrichment, it’s important to remember that physical fitness is just as crucial to a child's well-being. Free play naturally incorporates movement—running, jumping, climbing, and balancing all count as essential forms of exercise. These activities help kids develop strength, coordination, and endurance, which are key for maintaining a healthy body and mind. Afterschool programs that include ample time for free play give kids the chance to burn off energy after a long school day, allowing them to unwind and refresh their bodies and minds. This active form of play also helps combat the growing concern of sedentary lifestyles, especially in a world where children spend increasing amounts of time sitting in classrooms or in front of screens. Social and Emotional Growth Through Play Another critical aspect of free and risky play is the development of social and emotional skills. In an unstructured play environment, children are responsible for setting their own rules and navigating social interactions. They learn how to cooperate, negotiate, and resolve conflicts, which are all important life skills. Free play often leads to group activities where kids have to work together, fostering teamwork and leadership qualities. Risky play, in particular, teaches children to assess their abilities and take calculated risks. For example, when a child decides to climb a tree or cross a balance beam, they learn to gauge the difficulty of the task, weigh the risks, and develop the confidence to try. This type of self-regulation helps build resilience—children learn that it’s okay to fail, and they gain the confidence to try again, which is a lesson that extends far beyond the playground. Kids are taking risks, feeling apprehensive, and nervous in the context of fun. This allows them to manage their emotions and temper anxiety, a real diagnosis for many kids by the time they turn 11. Gantry Kids & Teens: Embracing Play in Long Island City, NY For our Long Island City families, Gantry Kids & Teens has developed a robust afterschool program that embraces the importance of free and risky play. The focus isn’t just on keeping kids busy but on fostering holistic development through creative and physical activities. The program we run at Gantry Kids emphasizes the value of play in building strong bodies and minds, giving children the freedom to explore their abilities in a safe environment.  The team at Gantry understands that children thrive when they are given the chance to lead their own play and push their boundaries. By incorporating elements of risky play, such as climbing, running obstacle courses, or engaging in imaginative games, Gantry Kids & Teens helps kids develop not only physical fitness but also the confidence to face new challenges in life. We also recognize the importance of balancing structured activities with free play. While we offer organized programs to enhance physical and social skills, we also give children the space to engage in self-directed, unstructured activities where they can develop their own games, create friendships, and discover new interests. This balance ensures that kids leave feeling accomplished, energized, and ready for the next day. Play Should Be More Than Just Fun Free and risky play aren’t just fun—they’re foundational elements of a child’s development. In the context of afterschool care and daycare, these activities allow children to gain confidence, build resilience, and strengthen their physical and mental health. Programs that incorporate free play, like what we run at Gantry Kids & Teens, offer kids the chance to develop in a way that structured activities alone cannot provide. When kids are given the opportunity to play freely and take risks, they become more creative, adaptable, and prepared for the world around them. Learn more about our afterschool programs at Gantry in Long Island City, NY .

There are 1000 transitions in a day. Wise words from a Dad of a three year old and a one year old. The truth of the matter is that young children are experiencing most of life for the first time. Everything is awe inspiring. Even if it's the same task, like getting out the door and into the car, they have little recollection of times before, or one little thing makes the experience different for them: the clothes they are wearing, the time of day, a puddle from last nights rain in the driveway, or even where the car is parked. Remember too, that kids are learning analytical thinking and can't truly transfer concepts until they are approaching their teens. You can read more about that in Chapter 3 of my book: "Where Kids Are" How Not to Ruin Your Kids , pp. 25-31. So how do we support them in being able to transition smoothly and easily? The start of school is a HUGE transition for kids. Going from summer fun: late nights and slow mornings, to getting to bed early and up with the sun! In most homes, there is less structure in during the summer months, more physical activity and unstructured time in each day. All those combined create space for kids to self-regulate much easier than during the school year when physical activity and movement in general is extremely limited, and each minute of the day is scheduled out. The new academic year may also be a series of NEW NEW NEW.

One of our founder's favorite sayings is “There's no bad weather, only bad clothing.” Making time to go outside, even in bad weather, can reap various benefits.